Decide
by lunaanna
Summary: What will you do? Season 6 finale speculation. Canon compliant. Quote from Grey's Anatomy.


The hands of the people of Sanctum were pounding on the metal doors keeping them alive, and they started to set into a steady, deep rhythm that Bellamy was all too familiar with. The same beat had accompanied him throughout his time on Earth, during every terrible moment of his memory. The grounders approaching the dropship, death oozing from their skin; Pike leading their group with rifles drawn and blood soaked souls; watching his sister fight in the conclave, saving her from the woman who now has a claim to his bed; being thrown into the fighting pits, having been left behind; going into what turned out to be the last battle on Earth.

His head started ringing, and he backed away from the doors, squeezing his eyes shut and running a hand through his hair. They were safe in here, for now. There was no way to say how much of the serum the Primes had left to keep dosing, and he doubted that the building would keep them safe indefinitely. With a pang, he thought of Clarke, away from him again, and in even more danger as he was. Panic began to set in. He could see her face, a slight sheen from sweat and adrenaline making her eyes wide. She was planning, naturally, and risking herself, again. The people were approaching, and Bellamy knew Josie had a target on her back. _Go_, he had encouraged, the wish to keep her safe familiar on his lips from their time being held by the Children of Gabriel.

_What will you do?_

That question had been running through his mind since they shut the door to this place. It became a mere fragment; not quite complete. _What will you do to escape? _Also, _what will you do to help me? _And worst of all, _what will you do about me? About how things have changed?_

"We've got to get out of here," he turned back to the group, who all looked at him, nodding. Octavia was tense, her hand on her blade, and Miller's trigger finger was twitching against the butt of his rifle. "Let's check to see if there's some kind of back way out, or even the ceiling."

Everyone began checking the walls, but it was Echo who eventually spotted the loose sheet metal on the roof that could be shifted aside, revealing the dark sky. Immediately the serum began getting in, and everyone quickly took doses of the antivenom.

"I'm going out first, I'll try to find a clear route," Echo said, and everyone nodded in agreement. She took her blade out of its holster and scaled up and out onto the roof. They heard the light thud of her landing, but then nothing. Bellamy let out a long breath, keeping his eyes on the space where Echo had vanished. The others paced nervously around him.

Several minutes later, everyone jumped when Echo landed quietly on the floor, forgoing climbing for a quick descent. "There's a tree with a thick branch touching the roof southwest of here," she said breathlessly. "I don't think there's anyone there – it seems to be an alley of some sorts."

Bellamy nodded. "Alright, let's move out. Echo, you first. I'll be last." Echo began back up to the hole and Bellamy glanced nervously at the door.

Nylah eyed Abby in horror, and Clarke felt her heart break all over again. Would it be like this every time someone new discovered that she was gone? She took a deep, steadying breath and let it out, her eyes focusing on Indra, and the army behind her that brought a twinge of hope to her heart. Abby's body was speaking, but Clarke couldn't bear to listen. Indra lowered her weapons and ordered the rest of them to do the same. Her eyes never left Gaia's face.

Clarke, along with the rest from Sanctum, were led through the ship to the cockpit. Clarke knew that it was now or never, and she needed to act. One of her guards was standing slightly in front of her in a defensive position, and Clarke lunged forward to grab the gun away. Stumbling towards Indra, she found herself raising the barrel to her temple and removing the safety.

"Josie, what's going on?" Russel raised his arms in a silent signal that his guards were not to act. Her _mother_ lurched forward, but Russel caught her before she could get close.

"We're not flying away, Dad," Clarke said, adopting Josie's voice once more. "I don't want to leave Sanctum, and I don't want to leave Gabriel. I know, I know, I was a little dramatic back there, but what can I say? The heart wants what it wants," Clarke shrugged, hating this charade of confidence while at the same time envying Josie's simplicity. She knew what she wanted, and she went for it. "Besides, I was in Clarke's mind, remember? There's no other planets for like, millions of lightyears. And Earth is destroyed. Where would we go?"

Defiance ran across Russel's face for a moment, but finally he relented. "Ok. We will wait out the serum here, and then go back and retake Sanctum. Just please, put the gun down."

Clarke looked behind her at Indra, trying to communicate with eye contact alone. A flash of understanding crossed the woman's face, and Clarke turned back to Russel. She shrugged and began lowering the gun before aiming and firing it, hitting him in the chest. He fell, and blood seeped onto the steel floor as her mother's scream overwhelmed her ears. She quickly took aim at her, but instead of shooting yelled, "Drop your weapons now, or I shoot her too." Reluctantly, the guards lowered their guns to the ground. Some of the warriors behind her rushed forward to restrain the guards and to free the prisoners.

Turning to Indra, Clarke said, "We need to get down there, now. But there's a toxin in the air. Do you know if there are masks available?"

"Yes, but not enough for everyone. Some will have to stay behind," Indra's eyes never left Gaia's, who was currently being untied. When she was free, she rushed over and they embraced, and Clarke needed to look away. Unfortunately, her eyes met a familiar pair of brown ones over the shoulder of the Trikru man who was binding her wrists, and they were filled with tears.

"What happened to Josephine?" she called. All Clarke could do was shake her head. Simone began wailing, and Clarke walked back to the cockpit where Raven was waiting. Her hands began shaking, and she realised her was still holding the gun. And she had just killed someone, when she had just convinced Bellamy of their need to spare life.

Anxiety tightened her chest, and she hoped they weren't too late. What was the last thing she had said to him?

_"What will you do?"_

They really were never very good with words.

Bellamy spotted her first, a flash of blonde across the toxin fueled battlefield. Her face was obscured by a gas mask, and she was walking alongside Indra and Gaia. Indra's army was forcing the people of Sanctum back towards their dining hall, and Bellamy and the others watched from the rooftop. The building they had been in had been compromised within 10 minutes of their leaving, but everyone was so crazed by the toxin that they became focused on another target – each other.

"She did it," Octavia came to stand next to him, following his gaze.

"She always does."

The next day was chaos, dealing with the wounded and the dead, cleaning up, and installing a new regime, run by Gabriel. Clarke was helping Jackson in the medical centre, until she was too tired to stand. Bellamy had been hovering nearby, and helped get her back to Josephine's room, settling her on the big, comfortable bed where Maddi was already asleep and holding her hand until her breathing was steady and even. His eyes grew heavy, so regretfully he let go of her hand and dropped onto the couch against the wall, falling asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

When he awoke, Clarke was leaning towards him, holding a cup of something steaming and delicious smelling. She grinned when she noticed he was awake and reached out to brush his hair out of his eyes. "There you are. You were out for so long I was worried you fell into a coma.

He chucked and sat up, accepting the drink she held out to him and taking a sip. He'd never tasted anything like it. "It's coffee. Real coffee, from actual coffee beans. They grow the plants in the greenhouse." She chuckled at the expression of delight on his face. Her face darkened, slightly. "I saw Echo in the kitchens. I spoke to her, told her where you'd fallen asleep in case she was worried about you. She told me that your whereabouts were no longer her concern."

Bellamy sighed, and handed Clarke back the coffee cup before he rubbed his eyes. "We broke up yesterday." Clarke let out a quick breath but didn't say anything. "I think recent events had put things in perspective for her. She said she didn't deserve to come second to you." He turned to look at her sitting next to him on the couch, and a tear was running down her cheek.

"Bellamy, she's right. I don't deserve to come first," she whispered, her eyes squeezing shut and tears spilling out. "I've done so much to you. I abandoned you so many times. After all that talk about doing better, the first thing I do is run off and kill Russell. Everything I touch dies, even my mom," she began to cry earnestly, and Bellamy tugged her over into a tight embrace, feeling her unsteady exhales against his neck.

When her sobs let up, Bellamy pulled back so he could see her face, which was red and blotchy with tears. "Clarke, you closed the dropship door on me and thought I was dead. You saved everyone who made it inside. You sent me into Mount Weather, and then left me by myself afterwards. We saved our people, at a price too high to bear. You chose to stay in polis instead of with me. You came back. We were supposed to go on that run to the signal tower together, but you went alone. I went into space, but I wished that I had died on Earth with you." Clarke's tears came heavier, and Bellamy realized his were too. He clutched her hands tightly.

"Clarke, I grieved for you for 6 years. I loved you then, before. I think you knew. And when we made it down, and I saw you … I just knew. You called me on the radio every day for 6 years, and then you left me to die in the fighting pits. And yes, it hurt, but nothing has ever hurt me like leaving you behind has.

"You're strong. You're so strong, and you make the decisions no one else wants to make, because they know they'll be hated for them. But you do it and you accept it. You left me behind to keep your daughter safe. And as usual, you were right to be scared of the flame.

"We've all done things that we regret or feel guilty about. Maybe us more than others, but still," Bellamy said, eliciting a water chuckle from Clarke. "The only thing we can do is move forward. Turn the page and do better."

"Bellamy –" She started, and then stopped, hesitating. "I did know, back then, how you felt. I felt it too. I still do."

Again, Bellamy thinks of what she said to him. _What will you do? _Finally, he knows the answer.

_So, do it. Decide. Is this the life you want to live? Is this the person you want to love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in. Breathe out. Decide._


End file.
